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| School Days |
When I began this blog, I made a decision not to write about any living people. As a result, I left out one member of my mother’s family, her sister Lillian. Aunt Lil passed away last Friday, so I can now talk about my favorite aunt. She was the last of the 7 sisters and 3 brothers. This is going to be a long post, but I will not apologize for that. There is no way I can say enough.
Lillian was born on April 27, 1928, the youngest child of Mathew and Anna Orinick. Her baptismal name was Lydia, but everyone called her Lilly. Lilly’s father died when she was 7. Her mother was not well during Lilly’s early years so her oldest sister, Mary, raised her from the time she came into this world. Their mother died when Lil was about 11, so she never really knew either of her parents. Mary was the only mother Lil knew and Lil was devoted to her.
I don’t know much about her life as a young woman. I was told that she contracted tuberculosis in her early 20’s and recovered for a time in my parents’ home. By the time I was old enough to know her, Lilly and her sister Helen had rented an apartment together in Kearny, New Jersey. Neither sister ever married, and they lived together from that point on until the last few years of their lives. I can’t suppress a smile thinking of how they sometimes acted like an old married couple. They had different personalities and often fought, but they also loved and took care of each other. When I wrote about Helen in a previous post, it was very difficult not to mention Lilly. As long as I can remember, it was rarely Helen or Lilly - for almost everything it was Helen AND Lilly.
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| Lil's professional side |
Lil worked as a radiology technician, but her passion was art. In her spare time she loved to paint. When I was in high school she took me to my first art exhibit. I don’t know what happened to all her paintings, but I have one work of art that she did for me as a birthday present. It is the face of a clown crafted out of seashells that I collected on the beach at Seaside Heights, New Jersey. She told me that she used every shell I gave her, fitting it into the face like pieces of a puzzle made to come together. She never signed her work though. Once, I asked her to sign my clown and she refused, saying that if she ever became famous for her art, signatures would cause trouble that she didn’t wish on me. I never understood that, but I respected her wish and never asked again.
She also loved to return to the farm where she grew up. As I’ve mentioned in prior posts, her sister Mary lived on the family farm all her life. Helen and Lil would drive to Pennsylvania every weekend to visit and help on the farm. They worked in the vegetable gardens with Mary and in the fields with their brother Ted and his wife Shirley. On weekends when my family made the trip as well, we worked with them and went out in the evening to one of the local taverns.
Lil was everybody’s favorite aunt. The main reason for this was that she didn’t just go off with the adults – she always had time for the kids. She taught many of us to drive in the empty fields after the crops were harvested. In taverns, she often sat at a table with the kids or played pool with us instead of sitting at the bar with the other adults. Sometimes she and Helen would take us out for dinner so the rest of the adults could do their own thing. The first time I ever ate steamed clams was on an outing with Lil, Helen, and two cousins close to my age. She took pleasure in introducing us to this new delicacy.
Several times Helen and Lil invited me to go to the farm with them when my parents couldn’t make it that weekend, or couldn’t join us until later. The three of us would sing popular songs on the drive. None of us could carry a tune well, but we sure had fun.
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| Lil's dog King, taking a nap |
When I was in high school, a friend of mine had a German Sheppard pup that they needed to give away. I mentioned it to Lilly and she adopted King. This was the only dog I ever knew her to own, and she loved him dearly. She swore he understood everything she said and taught him some interesting tricks: like chewing gum and spitting it out and smoking a cigar. This dog would sleep on a day-bed on the farm with Lil when she was there. Lil was heartbroken the day King wandered off into the woods on the farm and a hunter mistook him for a fox and shot him.
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| Lil on the farm |
Lilly had strong opinions on everything and was not afraid to speak up and hold her ground in an argument. She didn’t care about clothes, wearing whatever piece of cloth she got her hands on when she was not at work. She enjoyed a good cigar and a beer, as well as some good ole hard cider from the keg in the farmhouse cellar.
When I was about 13, I decided I wanted to volunteer as a Candy Striper for the summer. Lilly worked at Elizabeth General Hospital at the time and she arranged for me to volunteer there. That was the same summer that saw race riots all over the U.S. She drove out of her way to pick me up each morning and bring me home at night, taking the long route to avoid driving through the blocked off areas of Newark, NJ. We had plenty of time on the drives to talk and get to know each other.
As Lilly got older, it got harder for her to get around. Like several other members of our family, she developed FacioScapuloHumeral Muscular Dystrophy (FSHD). She retired early and was eventually confined to a wheelchair. Helen had trouble with her balance, but they made a great pair. Helen would push the wheelchair, holding onto it for balance as well. Even as their lives got more difficult, they never stopped trying to help younger family members. They continued to be there for great-nephews and nieces as they were for my generation.
After retirement, Lil and Helen moved to the house in Edison that they had invested in years ago with their brother Bill. The house was actually 2 houses, a large main house that they divided into 2 apartments and a small caretaker’s cottage in the back. They moved into the cottage and continued to rent out the house for income.
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| Helen, Mary, Lilly & Daisy on Mary's 90th Birthday, May 1997 |
Over the past few years, Lilly’s condition deteriorated both physically and mentally, to the point where Helen could no longer take care of her. Helen was also beginning to need a wheelchair. Lilly was moved to a nursing home near one of my cousins. My cousin was another of those who benefited greatly over the years from Helen and Lilly’s loving attention, and he paid back in kind. He and his wife checked in on Lil regularly and made sure her bills were paid and she had everything she needed. He also brought Helen to live in a house next door to him.
Now they are both gone, but they will never be forgotten by any of the 13 nieces and nephews, their children, their children’s children, and all the friends whose lives they touched. I’m sure my brothers, sister, nieces and nephews could add some great stories to this memoir and I hope they will.
Once again, my sister has come through for me and sent me an email in response to my blog post. After posting her email, I will add my response. Her note was longer than these comments allow, so I will post it in 2 parts. Here is part 1:
ReplyDelete"I didn’t remember Lill ever living with us, but then I guess I must have been quite young then. It must have been when we were still living in Newark. Helen lived with us for several years in Lyndhurst and Lill at that time lived with Aunt Margie in Newark. I can still picture the house. Was a two story house with a full basement. There were 2 bedroom I think upstairs. Aunt Margie and Frank had the one in the front of the house and I only remember Karen and Bob had the other. You came up several steps into the house thru a small enclosed porch and then thru the next door into a long hallway with the stairs to the second floor on the left and the hallway went thru the house to the back door and a u-turn to the basement staircase. To the left was the living room, which later was converted into Aunt Margies room when she could no longer navigate the stairs. You could get thru to the kitchen thru that room or by walking further down the hall to the kitchen entrance. The house and rooms were quite small compared to our house, which wasn’t much bigger. I don’t remember where Lill slept or if Bob had a room in the basement or no, I almost think he might have and she might have slept in with Karen. I know there were 2 semi finished rooms also in the basement. Out the back door they had a long narrow yard. Aunt Margie had a small porch on the back of the house where she would hang her laundry out from.
(Boy did I get carried away)
Now did you know that Grandma and Grandpa Orinick lived in Simpson before they bought the farm. I believe he couldn’t work in the mines anymore because of his health and that is why the bought the farm. I don’t know when. So I don’t think Mary was born yet at that time. Maybe you know something I don’t. Did you ever find the deed for the farm.
Also a long time ago Mike owned the farm. Then Uncle Bill and Aunt Heddie had the farm when he left and moved to Honesdale. Uncle Ted took over the farm when he returned from the army. I think."
In answer to the comments above, Mom told me that she took care of Lil when she was sick, I don't have any other source. I don't know when that was. I didn't know Lil lived with Margie and Helen lived with us, but I do remember Helen sleeping over at our house sometimes when I was little. I remember sharing my bed with her a few times. I guess that was before Helen & Lil got the apartment together. I also have faint memories of Aunt Margie's house that match what my sister said. I also remember Mom & I going to visit Aunt Margie to take her for phisical therapy, and stopping at the Hostess Bakery outlet store on Rt 21 on the way home each time.
ReplyDeleteAs for the farm, I have found census records showing our grandparents, Aunt Mary, and Aunt Kate living in Fells in 1910, and in 1920 with Julia, Margie, Mike, Bill & Daisy. The deed I found shows the farm was purchased in July 1925. Ted was born in March of that year, so the only child who was born on the farm was Lil in 1928. Grandpa died in 1935, ten years later.
I also mentioned the transfer of the farm from Mike to Bill to Ted over the years in previous posts. I have some of the records for that as well. Now for more of my sister's comments.
My sister's comments, part 2:
ReplyDelete"Driving to the farm with Lill was sure an old time custom. She took Karen, Bob, Ron, Ken and I usually in one combination or other almost every other weekend. She would always stop in Sparta near the Ideal Dairy Farms at a local restaurant on the four corners for gas and a bite to eat. She loved that old picture in the dining room of the dogs playing cards.
You say she had strong opinions, I agree. While we drove I remember her with her scientific theories and stories. Always coming up with ideas and things she could make or invent. How many of her ideas we saw down the road come up by so many other people in the years to follow. She was really a step ahead of time. You never knew where her stories would take us. Outer space or just new fangled cars that would do so much to make our driving easier. And here most of them are coming into view today. And yes, she was our first driving teacher. Each of us learning to drive before our 14th birthdays. She would wait till we were close enough to the farm and then say, Here you take over and get us there. She wouldn’t even tell us which way to go. We had to find the way. Which really wasn’t that hard, but it was a bit scary when we were further out.
Lill was in a nursing home in Edison for several months before they moved her to the one in PA. This way our cousin’s could keep on eye on her and her care. It was getting too much for Helen to get out and about and our cousin’s couldn’t get out as often as needed to help her anymore. So after several months of living on her own in NJ they convinced Helen to move in with them. Later they moved her into the basement apartment of a bi-level house where their son and family had the upper level. This worked out quite well as Helen had the lower level which was ground level to the rear of the home and they had the upper level which was ground level in the front. And they were there to help her on a daily basis and only a mile or so from our cousins.
I could go on all day about the things Lilly and Helen did with us. They took us to the World’s Fair in NYC, the Empire State Bldg, many trips to the Shore beaches, even took me for a week there. If they went someplace kid friendly you were sure one or all of us would be invited to go.
Aunt Lill – You will never be forgotten. You will always be remembered with a very warm heart and moisty eye. I love you."